Links to other philosophical jests | D. H. Mellor

Causes of death of philosophers

'Gentlemen, it is a fact that every philosopher of eminence for the last two centuries has either been murdered, or, at the least, been very near it, insomuch that if a man calls himself a philosopher, and never had his life attempted, rest assured there is nothing in him; and against Locke's philosophy in particular, I think it is an unanswerable objection (if we needed any) that, although he carried his throat about him in this world for seventy-two years, no man ever condescended to cut it.'
-- Thomas de Quincey, 'Murder Considered as One of the Fine Arts' (quotation supplied by Kent Bach)

These lists, started by Stiv Fleishman, contain many new and revised entries, suggested by many other philosophers and added by D. H. Mellor, to whom further suggestions should be sent.

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Updated 21 October 2005